New Year, New Me

I've been putting off writing my New Year's resolutions. The new year should always start on a Monday, in my genius opinion. It's hard to get your sh!t together on any other day. Monday has a true sense of beginning.

And honestly, with J incapacitated, it's been pretty impossible to make or keep any kind of resolutions. We've been eating nothing but junk food and lounging around in our own filth. I don't want to leave him for too long because when I ran some errands yesterday, he told me he had a mini-panic attack. No bueno, loveys. So I'm on lockdown, as well.

Anyway, in the spirit of the new year, here are my resolutions for 2009 (I will not be starting any of this until Monday, January 5th and then I might have to suspend some for my birthday weekend, Friday, January 9th to Sunday, January 11th):

1. Love my body no matter what size it is. Size 4, 6, or 8 -Smart Cookie's Body is friggin' great!

2. Even though I'm going to love my body, I'm still going to work out 4-5/week. No point in getting all crazy in this mofo. I want to work on getting more toned. Turn some mush into muscle. I've joined these sassy bitches in their quest to lose the holiday poundage. They seem to be pretty hard-core, which honestly, is pretty intimidating, but it's easier when I'm held accountable.

I want to look not so much like this (stolen from the ever fab Scandy):

But more like this:3. Work on my relationship with the big G - O -D. I want to spend 15 minutes each day praying, reading the Bible, or just down right pondering my blessings and my place in this world.

4. Go to church twice a month. I'd like to go more often, obviously. But given our schedules and mood swings, I think that this is a realistic and attainable goal.

5. Take care of all my good stuff. My home, my car, my puppies, and my marriage -not necessarily in that order.

6. Get a new job. Stat. I'd like to kiss these mofos goodbye and say hello to a brand new set of mofos.

7. Take control of my finances. Or better yet, manage my finances better. Let's be honest, we've got bills, and unless we start making more benjamins, it's going to be more of the same. So instead of going whole hog, I'm going to be realistic about what I can and can't do. I can do it! I know I can.

8. Go back to school and get my master's degree.

9. Learn how to make jewelry. So random, right? But I think it will be really fun.

10. Figure out this baby thing. Get my business taken care of and follow up with doctor's appointments. Obviously I can't get pregnant on my own, so I need to get serious if I want some of these sweetpeas:11. Be kind to myself. No, really. I am my own BFF. Would I let anyone talk to my BFF the way I talk to myself? Hells no! So it's time to be nice. Change my inner monologue and love myself.

So enough about me, how about you?