Facebook is the Devil

Okay. Here's the deal-i-o. I heart Facebook. Facebook totally satisfies my need for human interaction without the, um, actual interaction. Because let's face it, with my self-diagnosed social anxiety disorder and my pathological aversion to the phone, I am not the easiest person to be friends with. I mean, seriously. I've got quirks and idiosyncrasies up the ying-yang.

Anyhoodle. Facebook allows me to keep in touch and feel connected to people. I love the status updates, I spend lots of time going through photo albums, and sometimes, if I'm so inclined, I'll even comment on a status update. What can I say? I enjoy it.

Oh. But now? Now my work people have become my Facebook friends. At first, I just had my friend S, or as I like to call her, my work BFF. I tell her everything anyway, even the not so kosher stuff, so she's no problemo. And then there was B. Because she's leaving and moving upstate, I added her without a second thought.

Oh, but it never stops! I've added one other coworker and a parent (whom I love so it's not a big deal) and what's bugging me is that these people are friends with Mrs. LeDouchetard. And even though my profile is set to private, and I've changed all my photo settings to just FRIENDS, as opposed to FRIENDS & FRIENDS OF FRIENDS (eat your heart out ex-boyfriend), and FML I don't want everyone knowing my private business, and maybe (super paranoia kicking in) sharing it with that dumb bunny. It's lbeginning to feel ike that episode of Seinfeld where the gang starts hanging out with Susan, and it drives George crazy. "A Smart Cookie divided against herself CANNOT STAND!"

And then, the final straw. Being crazy, I (naturally) have an affinity for other crazies. And because like minds seek like minds, I am a crazy magnet. You know those parents that drive teachers crazy (not in a Mrs. Douchetard mean, nasty, I'm really a bitch way)? Those parents LOVE me. Why wouldn't they? I'm fluent in crazy. Anyhoodle, I have a parent I'll call, Mrs. Super Crazy, and she friend requests me this morning. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

Oh. Hell. No.

Now, it's not that I don't like Mrs. Super Crazy. But I have to draw the line somewhere. There's work Smart Cookie. And there's non-work Smart Cookie. And this whole thing is making me bananas. I don't want to have to worry about work in my free time. Gosh, have you not read this blog at all? I worry all the time anyway! I don't need any extra piled on.

So what should I do? Should I just start deleting people? Help!