Every new beginning....

comes from some other beginning's end.

Happy New Year, Loveys! May this new year bring you closer to your deepest heart's desires and may your cup runneth over.

xoxo,

Smart Cookie

Say Bonjour....

to my new boyfriend! Can I say it? In one word, DELICIOUSNESS!

So last night I saw Twilight. Finally. I felt like a 13 year old girl. I read the first three books in the series over the weekend, and I fell hard. Thoroughly and completely with all the characters. Esp. my new boyfriend. What can I say? I'm a sucker for this bloodsucker.

I know some people found the movie disappointing, and honestly, some scenes played out like a bad movie on the sci-fi channel, but I think the overall effect was pretty good. I wasn't too sure about some of the casting. Rosalie? Um, someone needs to tell the wardrobe guy that that bitch cannot be wearing skinny jeans. And Jasper. Is he supposed to look terrified in every scene? Jeez, I know he's worried about falling off the wagon, but he needed to take a deep breath and freak the frig down. Even my own new love played some of those really deep, heavy scenes a little too.... cheesy. But I loved Kristen Stewart. I thnk she's gotten a bad rap. I loved her nervousness and bajigittyness.

Whatever. I'm sure they'll iron out the kinks for the sequel, which for shizzle I will be watching. And hells to the no, I won't be waiting so long. I'll be watching the premiere, baby.

My favorite scene, besides the kissing scenes of course (how sweet and tender, and passionate-y were those!), was the scene where Edward and Bella go to school together, their first public outing as a couple, and geez, I felt like a giggly teenager -that boy's smile lit my whole heart up. Oh, and that boy can dazzle me with his swarovksi crystal sunshine ANYTIME.

So he's on my list. J wasn't impressed with this new addition, but he can suck it.

My new boyfriend rocks.

I also downloaded the soundtrack from itunes last night and the majority of the songs are hauntingly beautiful. Just my speed.

Babies Over Boobies.... Kinda Like Bros Before Hos

I don't like to write about J too much because I've realized that on occasion he reads this blog and since I usually write lovely things about him, I'm worried that his head is getting too big. Like his internal monologue is something like, Oh, I'm so great. She lurves me so much. Which is all true, but sometimes it's important to keep boys in check.

Anyway, last Friday he was able to finish work early, and we made plans to go to the Olive Garden. Tres fancy, I know. My brother and his soon to be wife gave us a gift card to the OG for Christmas. Anyway, we had a really lovely lunch, and he laid this lovely gem upon moi.

SC: So, you know yesterday when I was talking to my grandfather? He was asking me about M & A, right? And I told him that M had broken up with A because A was too jealous, and she wasn't at all hip to that (there's more to the story, but not suitable for my grandfather's delicate ears). He asked me if they would get back together, and I told him all signs pointed to no. Anyway, he then said that when my grandmother was young, he used to have to fight the boys off with a stick.

(J laughs)

SC: No, really. He said that some guys look at pretty women really disrespectfully, like they're eating them up, and some guy looked at my grandmother like that so he clocked him in the nose so hard that he broke the guy's nose and ended up getting blood on his shirt. And then he said, "With a body like M's, no wonder A's jealous of boys looking at her."

Hmmph.

SC: So I don't really get it. M is really pretty, but her body's nothing outta this world. She's all J LO-ish. Curvy bootie, thick thighs. What is it about that body type?

J: I know YOU like to be skinny, but guys like something round and juicy. (He puts his hands up and pretends to squeeze).

SC: Bub, you do know that in order for my boobs to be bigger, everything from my belly button to the bottom of my bootie has to expand exponentially? And I really want bigger boobs, but not at that price.

J: I like you better bigger.

SC: No, you like my BOOBS bigger. There's a difference. Ugh, if I wasn't so scared of surgery, I for sure would get my boobs did. That way, no matter what size I was, THEY would be a good size.

J: You know how I hate fake boobies.

SC: But I wouldn't get them super big. I'd just get like a full B. That way they'd be more natural.

Then he said this, which I loved and have been thinking about non -stop like a crazy person without his meds.

J: I would much rather spend $6000 (I think it costs way more than that, but you know boys never have a real idea of what things cost) on trying to have a *baby than making your boobs bigger.

Am I crazy? Is this no big deal? I just really thought it was sweet. Babies over boobies wins. In my book anyway.

*I have fertility issues. Or infertility issues. Let's just say, baby-making issues. And it's all me. Because J's been checked out, and he's a.o.k.

I'm a Mess....

*I have not washed my hair since last Wednesday. I've just kept putting it off, and since I haven't had anywhere fancy to go, no real reason to get dolled up, I remain hideous. And to make matters worse, I exercised on Friday and Saturday, so my head is especially gross. This usually happens when I'm on vacation from school. Or depressed. Take your pick.

And, I have a brand spanking new blowdryer to use! J bought me one for Christmas, and it's top of the line. He's so cute. He told me how he talked to the sales assistant at the beauty shop, and how she helped him make his decision. Not the most expensive one (though when he told me what it cost I almost choked), but the best one*.

But back to dirty hair. Today I went to the mall to check out the new JCREW store, and I was embarrassed my dirty-girlness. Everything about me was wrong. I tried to look cute, but having bad hair is a serious handicap. And really, you should never go to the mall looking ugly. Or maybe you should if what you want to do is save money. Hmmm. On a side note though, the JCREW store was really lovely, and they had a great sale. Too bad it's never cold here because alot of their sweaters were beautiful and they had a delicious hot pink coat on sale. I bought a very Grace Kelly camel colored dress and a pukey green (it's really a lovely color) cardigan with jeweled buttons. Under 70 bucks. Totally worth it. I just wish they carried the line of shoes in this store. But back to the hair, ugh, I am DISGUSTING. As soon as I finish writing this, I'm going to wash it.

*I read Twilight last night, and I LOVED it. Love, love, loved it. To quote my friend A, I would love to have a vegetarian vampire. Today I went to BN and bought New Moon. It took me a while to find a copy because I was ashamed to ask for help. I'm a big reader. I can read a book in a couple of hours, and if it's a lazy day, I can read two. But I really didn't want anyone to think of me as one of those people that only reads a book because it's popular. I'm just snotty that way, I guess. Anyway, I found it, purchased it, and as I was reading it this afternoon, guess what? My copy skips from page 408 to 441! WTF? I had to go online to kinda figure out what happened in those 33 missing pages. Tomorrow I'm going to go back to BN and complain. Also, I'm going to exchange New Moon for Eclipse. I guess it was fortuitous.

*Is it possible to have gained SEVEN pounds in FIVE days? On Tuesday I weighed 128.5 pounds and yesterday (because I was too terrified to weigh myself today because I have NOT STOPPED EATING IN FIVE DAYS!) I weighed 135.5. Seriously? I have singlehandedly ruined SEVEN weeks of careful diet and exercise in a record five days. :( And my jeans were so tight today. My legs felt like sausages. I could not wait to come home and put my pj's on (another Christmas gift from J. So cute -I love the way he remembered my body temperature gets too hot for long pj's and bought me a cute Mickey set that say True Love).

*I love reading blogs -especially the fashion ones, but I think it's clouding my judgement, making me suffer from a little too much Iwant-itis. I already suffer from this in general. Two of my peeps received Michele watches for Christmas and all of a sudden I was like, I want a Michele watch. But I don't. Not really. They're really pretty, but I've never wanted one. But that's what Iwant-itis does. All of a sudden, you're living your life, and then it's like BAM! I WANT THAT! How else to explain that I am now on the hunt for designer shoes or bags (my niece got me thinking about this little number)? I want, I want, I want. But I don't really need. And one day, I will most certainly splurge on some of these super luxurious things. But right now? Best to keep it together. So, deep breath. Keep calm and carry on.

I hope you're keeping it together a little better than moi.

*UPDATE: I just used my new blowdryer. I was worried at first because my old dryer is a PLIMATIC 2000 SUPERTURBO, and the new one is an FHI Handweight PRO 1800, but it worked really well. The new one is super LIGHT, it hardly weighs a thing, and it dried my hair really quickly. I like the results, but I can't say whether it's because hair always dries much more nicely the longer you go without washing it or whether it's because the blow dryer is so great. I'm still having a very difficult time justifying the price, but good hair is very important, so I think I'll just see it as an investment.

Deep Sigh

I love this. It's so deliciously impractical. But because it is so impractical -what for the love of all that's good and holy could you wear it under?! I cannot bring myself to purchase it. Unless...you guys give me some suggestions. Any ideas? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

What's Your Crack?

I went to the mall today to return some gifts, and as I was shopping, I started to wonder about people and their shopping habits. Their "crack", so to speak. Some people are all about black pants, and every time they go out, they come home with a new pair. For some it's white shirts. Open their closet and you'll see oodles of white shirts -short sleeve, long sleeve, button down, blah, blah, blah. Or jeans. Or makeup.

My sister, for example, is all about watches and handbags. They don't have to be expensive, necessarily, but she has a vast array of each, and she enjoys wearing different watches and switching her handbags to match her oufits. I, on the other hand, have a gold watch (thank you Mamacita) and a silver watch (which I keep meaning to have fixed), and I'm lucky if I remember to wear either one. And as for purses? I've got a bunch. Most are inexpensive, Forever 21 finds, and some, like my COACH logo or vintage GUCCI, cost a pretty penny. But I hate switching out my bags and rarely do so if I can help it.

Me? I love shoes. When my weight fluctuates, the only part of me that doesn't get fat is my feet. I have a rainbow of flats. I have a beautiful collection of brightly hued, bejeweled, and deliciously impractical shoes, some of which, I'm ashamed to admit, have never had the joy of being paraded around the neighborhood.

I will spend more on shoes than I will on any article of clothing or accessory. Now, that's not saying too much since we don't make enough money for me to be ridiculously extravagant, or honestly, practically extravagant. But I know people that think $30 smackaroonies is to much to spend on a pair of shoes -the horror! But even though my budget doesn't allow me the luxury of owning premium shoes like PRADA, I hope that one day these lovelies will magically find their way into my closet.

How sexy and practical are these PRADA pumps? They're on sale for $239. That's not too bad, right? They're PRADA for goodness sake! Too bad they don't have my size or it would be, "Happy Birthday to Me!"

These are all from JCREW. They're not SUPER expensive, they're all on sale from $100 - $150, but because they are so outrageously unique, and therefore, a little difficult to integrate into daily wear -even though I am seriously loving the irridescent heels, they're not purchases that I could justify with a cost/wear analysis.

So, what's your crack?

Oh, um, I also have a thing for really feminine, flirty dresses. Forever 21 and Victoria's Secret online are my favorite for these. K, I'm done now.

Merry "List"mas!

1. I weigh myself every morning.
   
2. When I was in elementary school, I turned around quickly after sharpening my pencil and jammed said pencil into my then BFF's eyebrow.
   
3. I used to roll up my pants to my knees in elementary school. So fashionable (rolls eyes).
   
4. I was cool all the way up to sixth grade. It was all downhill from there.
   
5. Spinning is my most favorite-est exercise ever.
   
6. I got my period when I was 11. At my BFF's pool party. So Tampax commercial, no?
   
7. I am super competitive. I HATE losing. I've had to take myself out of a few games because of this unfortunate character trait.
   
8. I always want to be the BEST. BEST daughter. BEST sister. BEST teacher. It's obnoxious really. (See above)
   
9. I'm worried that I will never have babies. I wish it were easy, like, you will never have babies if you don't get your period. And then you'd kind of be prepared for it since you were a teenager. Plus, added bonus? No period. But it obviously doesn't work like this. What a shame.
   
10. I love my husband more than anything. It scares me sometimes.
    
11. I worry about going to hell.
    
12. I wish my boobs were bigger, but I'm too scared to get implants.
    
13. I sometimes buy clothes and shoes for a life I don't live. I have a bunch of beautiful shoes in my closet that have never seen the light of day.
    
14. Sometimes I have so many imaginary conversations with people in my head that when I actually speak to these people, I think I've told them things I haven't.
    
15. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
    
16. Peonies and hydrangeas are my favorite flowers.
    
17. I'm happy to learn I wasn't as big of a bitch in high school as I initially thought. Elementary school was a different story, apparently.
    
18. I hate the word flesh. Creeps me out (shivers).
    
19. I have recently developed an addiction to bathing suits.
    
20. I love to eat pizza. And Nachos. And anything covered with melted cheese.
    
21. I've never broken a bone.
    
22. I have a super healthy immune system. Even though I teach small, germ-y children, I rarely get sick.
23. My class is so awful this year that sometimes I come home and I'm ashamed by this thought, "I can't believe I hate a seven year old."



24. I could watch The Princess Bride on repeat. FOREVER.
    
25. I can never wait for surprises.
    
26. I wish I had a pool.
    
27. Last year I had a full-fledged panic attack on my birthday.
    
28. I like giving people presents, but I would rather receive than give. Awful, right?
    
29. I love people with my whole heart, but once they betray me, I never feel the same again.
    
30. My ipod itouch is one of the best gifts I've ever received. I use it daily, and I feel like it's paid for itself.
    
31. I used to get dressed up and plan my Oscar speech or what I would say on my appearance with David Letterman when I couldn't sleep.
    
32. I have a girl crush on Britney Spears and Jennifer Anniston.
    
33. I'm secretly pleased when the massage therapists tell me how tense I am. I kinda feel like it validates all the stress I've been feeling. Like it's not all in my head.
    
34. I love going through people's purses. With their permission, of course.
    
35. Sometimes I wish I could go back and do things differently. With the same end result of J, though.


36. J is the only person who truly get me. Head to toe, good and bad.
    
37. I'm going to see Britney Spears in March!
    
38. My mom once asked me to trim the back of her hair and got upset when I effed it up. Did I mention I was only nine?
    
39. I went to Paris when I was 22, and it was a big, delicious band-aid for my broken heart.
    
40. I love watching my students and imagining the kind of people they will be when they grow up.
    
41. My favorites stores are the Gap, Forever 21, Macy's, and Victoria's Secret online.
    
42. I have never gone to Target and spent less than $100.
    
43. I bit my nails until 4 years ago when I just stopped, cold turkey.
    
44. I never wore my retainer so my bottom teeth are not as straight as they could be.
    
45. Sometimes it feels as if everyone is pregnant but me.
    
46. For some strange reason, my favorite word is forsake. I just like the sound of it.
    
47. I'm a terrible liar.
    
48. I love the scene in the car between Sarah Jessica Parker and Luke Wilson from the movie The Family Stone. Super sweet, tender, and romantic.
    
49. The only place I like to eat hamburgers from is Fuddruckers.
    
50. I cry during Publix commercials. Especially the Valentine's Day one where the boy and his mom make a cake for a "special girl", but the cake is really for the mom. (sob).
    
51. I am horrifically unphotogenic.
    
52. Even though I think my sister and I share similar features, some people don't believe we're sisters because of our different coloring.
    
53. I love getting mail even when it's just a stack of bills.
54. I love magazines and have had to curb a serious addiction. $15 smackaroonies/week on magazines -not counting the ones I already subscribed to was a problem.
    
55. I feel saner when I connect with people. Sometimes I feel as if I spend too much time in my own head, and the result is no bueno.
    
56. I love to read and I have some books that I love so much I will not lend them out unless I have the borrower's express promise to return them.
    
57. I love my dog Snoopy like a person.
    
58. Sometimes I resent being the "Fixer" in my family. But I guess as the oldest, it's textbook.
    
59. I can't believe my baby brother (29) is getting married in 4 1/2 months!
    
60. Even though I live in Miami, I love warm, sunny vacations.
    
61. If I had to live in the cold, I'd be 300 lbs and live in my sweats.
    
62. I don't like to wear lipstick. It feels so unnatural, and my lips are teeny. I only wear gloss.
    
63. I'm starting to worry about wrinkles.
64. But I pretty much worry about EVERYTHING so that's just something new to add to the list.
65. I love the smell of vanilla candles. But who doesn't?
    
66. Brown eyes are boring but I love mine.
    
67. I have horrible vision. I'm like Helen Keller without my glasses or contacts.
    
68. I have an awful sense of direction. If I ever get lost, I'd have to find a new husband and start a new life.
    
69. My grandfather is one of my favorite boys.
    
70. I love my grandmother. You can visit her when you're feeling blue, and you'll leave feeling 10 feet tall.


71. I love wrapping presents.
    
72. Sometimes in a fury I trim my (long) bangs and then regret it immediately afterward.
    
73. I like to pick at my zits. Bleh, gross.
    
74. I'm terribly impatient. I hate waiting. Am I almost done with this list?
    
75. Last night, both the cars of my cousin C and cousin M were smashed, and it made me scared to sleep alone. J spends one night a week out of town.
    
76. I come from a family that is straight-up, bat shit crazy. But it's kinda funny, and we're reconciled to our lunacy.
    
77. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to adopt an older child. I feel like they definitely get the shaft because everyone wants babies.
    
78. My celebrity boyfriends are James Marsden, Milo Ventimiglia, and Ryan Gosling. Call me!
    
79. I have a birthmark behind my right thigh.
    
80. I've gone topless on South Beach and the South of France.
    
81. I hate beer.


82. J and I sleep in different rooms because of his snoring.
    
83. I miss him and wish we could sleep in the same bed.
    
84. I love jewelry.
    
85. Especially diamonds.
    
86. I hate flossing.


87. Good hair days are few and far between. But when they happen, it's like magic.
    
88. Smiling is my favorite.
    
89. I'll be 33 in 15 days.
    
90. Sometimes I wonder what my life will be like next year. In 5 years. In 10 years.
    
91. I wanted to be "Buffy" on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Angel was tragically delicious.
    
92. I love to watch movies, but it's difficult for me to focus my attention for that long.


93. One of my favorite movies, and one of the best allegories about Christ's love and sacrifice, is The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.


94. When I was younger, I used to pray for clear skin -esp. for my birthday. I've always been plagued with oily skin, large pores, and pimples.


95. I hate wearing thongs. I find them uncomfortable, and I only wear them when visible panty lines are not an option.


96. I usually walk around my house in only bottoms. No top.


97. I shop when I'm sad-face.


98. One of my favorite colors for decorating is green. There's something green in every single room in my chez.


99. I wish I could do a split.


100. I'm excited about the possibility of a new year -Hello, 2009!

Merry Christmas, Loveys! May the love, joy, and peace of Christ be yours on this Christmas day. :)

Deep Thoughts with Smart Cookie

Lately I've noticed a huge disparity between the way I see myself and the way others see me. And I have to be straight with y'all -it's a bit disconcerting. It almost makes me feel as if my perception of myself is distorted, and the person who I think I am is only an illusion. Deep, right?

But could that be right? Could that be possible? I spend time with myself 24/7. Who would know me better than me? And then I think, people only see pieces of me. For example, work people know work Smart Cookie, relatives know sister/daughter/cousin/niece Smart Cookie, and so on and so on. So therefore, they only know part of me, not all of me. They don't see the whole picture, my friends.

So, who am I really? I feel like I'm going in circles trying to figure it out. Because if I'm not who I think I am, then who am I? Deep sigh. I don't feel like I'm explaining myself well. Like all my thoughts are thick as molasses.

It's late. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more coherent.

Oh, except for J. J sees all of me, and it's more in line with my thoughts about moi-meme.

Two Weeks From This Friday....

will be my birthday! I will be 33 friggin' years FABULOUS. And since I'm stuck at work, I have been scouring the internet for a good birthday present pour moi. I have my eye on this:

As someone who struggles with her skin - oily, ginormous pores, blackheads, and the more than occasional breakout, this thingamajiggy has gotten really amazing reviews and has stolen a little piece of my heart. And, since I usually collect about $150 on my birthday from relatives, I think J will totally agree to put in the difference.

P.S. I am aware that all this free time is making me crave more and more outrageous things. Thank the baby Jesus that tomorrow is Christmas Eve so that I can reflect on the real meaning of CHRISTmas and be happy for everything I have, and ironically enough but also very true, everything I don't.

Wishful Thinking

I'm stuck filling in for my mom at the office, and since it's SO SLOW, I'm doing beaucoup online window shopping. I'd love to have the discipline and the willpower to save for these:

Deliciously impractical. A pop of color that will set you back $685. Oh, but they are precious.

Like a magpie, I'm attracted to all things shiny, $695

I heart this happy color. For $735 it would definitely add sass to any outfit. Hell, for that much money it BETTER add sass. The most practical and "budget" friendly, $595. These are the shoes I imagine myself wearing in my new, non-existent job.
But since I would rather satisfy shopping urges immediately, rather than wait (Hello, Macy's shoe department and Forever 21), and since we are so po' we can't even afford the or in poor, I'm thinking it may be a while (as in years) before any of these lovelies find their way into my closet. BUT, January is the time for resolutions, so I just may be adding a new resolution. I mean if I save $11- $15/week I could have a delicious new present under my 2009 Christmas tree. It'll definitely be an exercise in self-control, and that's a good thing, right? Right?

Hmmm....

I just found this new blog, and I love it! It's everything I love in a style that's just so me. I just wish I had the life and the weather to wear some of these outfits. It's totally inspired me to make more of an effort with my wardrobe. Today, I even wore a really pretty ombre scarf with my ensemble

So, let's take a look-y loo at these shoes that are on my current drool list:

Could I make them work? They come in black as well, but I think the black may be too harsh -even though Maegan wears very similar shoes quite awesomely. Anyway, I'm envisioning myself wearing them with this skirt, which I bought today in a deep, eggplant-y purple, with a white tank, and some long necklaces. The skirt has a higher waist, which I'm really digging, and it's actually a smidge shorter than it looks in the picture.

The only reason I didn't buy the shoes is because I figured the only time I would actually wear them would be when I wanted to look cute on a shopping trip (and I'm really not the girl that wears heels to the mall -um, I kinda make fun of some of those girls) or at a family get together (my life is not very exciting -please don't pity me) and I didn't want them to die of sadnes in my closet with all the other shoes who do not get to parade around outside.

Deep sigh. Sometimes I just wish....

Shopping My Feelings Away

Friday was a bad day. Although it was the last day of school before Christmas break, and you would expect me to be thrilled and over the moon, I was blue. And it all had to do with the presents I received from my students, which pretty much sucked. Now, before you get all up in arms shouting, "We are in a recession you greedy cookie! How dare you want more from your students' parents! Do you not know they pay a pretty penny for private school education and on top of THAT they are Santa Claus?!" Let me just say that I don't expect my students to bring me expensive gifts, even though I have gotten some pricey gifts in years past -Chanel perfume, Swarovksi crystal, Montblanc pen, blah, blah, blah.

But I WOULD have liked to have been given gifts, no matter how small, that let me know that the parents appreciate me and what I do for their child, rather than gifts that made me feel like an afterthought, or my favorite, a glorified, overpaid (ha!) babysitter. Hell, I would've been happy with a $5 Starbucks giftcard and a lovely handwritten note. But, NO! Out of seven kids, I got three boxes of chocolates (one with a stuffed animal -don't even get me started), a shirt, a candle, and a basket of crackers and cheeses (this one was actually quite nice).

And to add insult to injury, I had given each of my kids a set of reindeer antlers and made each one a personalized stocking, which I filled with candy, pencils, and erasers. And the ONE kid who did not even bring me a present, the son of Mr. & Mrs. LeDouchetard, had the NERVE to say, "Candy?! That's all we get?" If I tell you that I had to physically restrain myself, I would not be exaggerating.

So after school, I went to my favorite discount-ish shops -Marshall's, Nine West Outlet, Kirkland's, and New York & Co. to shop away my very hurt and unappreciated self. And as I shopped, I could not help looking at tons of gifts under $10 and thinking, I would've loved to have gotten that! That is so cute! That looks just like something I would love. Despite great deals, nothing really worked for me, and I only spent $16 at Kirkland's on a sign and two really pretty crosses (one to keep on hand as an emergency gift). And then, I went to Ulta. I was committed to buying some make-up.

Now, let me just say that I am all about drugstore make-up. Drugstore make-up is like the Forever 21 of makeup, and has likewise ruined me for expensive makeup. But, like I said, I was sad and I was determined. As I was perusing the Smashbox aisle, the SB rep. asked if I'd like a makeover. Bored, sad, and with nowhere to go, I said sure. She asked me what I wanted to learn, and I told her I wanted to learn how to look as if I have flawless skin. Oily, acne-prone, and with ginormous pores, that is always my biggest concern. So she started and she rubbed a bunch of stuff on my face, and it really felt lovely, and she explained everything. And when I saw myself in the mirror, my skin really did look better.

BUT I WAS WEARING A POUND OF MAKE-UP. She had applied with a Kabuki brush, and let's just say Kabuki was an apt term. It was caked on. It was an inch thick and settled into all my fine lines. When I smiled I could feel flakes cascading down my face. I was super self-conscious, and she had spent so much time with me, I was definitely going to buy SOMETHING. So despite the fact that I was wearing a MASK, I bought these:

Not in this palette, though. The one I bought is a pink palette and it's so beautifully packaged that it is almost too beautiful to use.

This is awesome for shine control. One of my students a couple of years back said, "Mrs. Smart Cookie, you are the shiny-est teacher I've ever had!"

It was pretty embarrassing walking throughout the store in my drag queen makeup, but since Ulta is a 20 minute drive from my chez, and therefore not a place I frequent often, I wanted to get the full experience. I've started incorporating some of the new products into my look, and I have to say, I do heart it. Or, it could just be that I'm so grateful to be on vacation and away from the seven minions of chaos and insanity that my skin is just mother cluckin' glowing. Whatever. I'll take it.

Un-effing-Believable

Today I was checking my posts, like I always do. Homegirl likes to reread her thoughts over and over just like an OCD patient. Anyway, I saw that I had a comment. Yay. A mothercluckin' comment! Who could it be? My choices were slim. Only two loveys ever leave me comments. But this time? It was, oh my God (and I am not even taking the Lord's name in vain) I cannot control myself, SCANDALOUS HOUSEWIFE!!!!!! Scandy left me a comment. I. Can't. Breathe. Goodness to Betsy I just wish I could bottle her up and wear her like a delicous perfume. Umm, wait. Maybe that's a little too single white female. Anyway. I'd been having a pretty good day, but hot damnit to all heck -that made it all worthwhile!

Happy Thoughts

1. Yesterday, I had a huge pain in my neck, the literal kind -not the figurative kind which can usually be attributed to my job, my money woes, or J (Just kidding lovey, I know how lucky I am to have you. I know it because you remind me all the time). I really think it was from a combination of things. No restful sleep all week, subconcious anxieties, and wearing four inch heels on Thursday. Plus, to be honest, I'm ALWAYS tense. I don't really feel it, but that's the word on the street. And even though I got a massage on Friday night, (see below for funny convo), when I woke up yesterday, I could not look to my left. But looking in that direction is overrated, right? Anyway, after some delicious aspercreme and advil, voila! All better!

An excerpt from the play, My Cups Do Not Runneth Over (Le Sigh)

Massage Lady: So is there anything you want to tell me before we start?

Me: Um, I carry a lot of tension in my back -that's what all the therapists have told me, so I'm really sensitive there and can't handle too much pressure. And I wore heels all day yesterday, and I'm used to wearing flats so I feel like my body in general is all tight and achy.

Massage Lady: Okay, well let's see if we can work on that.

(She starts working on my back) Oh my, you're inflamed back here. The tension is unbelievable.

Me: Yeah, I know. It's pretty bad.

Massage Lady: Let me ask you something, what size bra do you wear?

Me: Um, any reason in particular you're asking?

Massage Lady: Well, sometimes large breasts can cause this much tension.

Me: Hmmm. Well, I'm an A cup.

Massage Lady: (All flustered and uncomfortable) Well, then it must be something else.

2. I am back on Proactiv! Yay! Say what you will, it really works for me. My favorite thing, and honestly, the most effective product in my opinion, is the reparing lotion. Oh, I'm hoarding it. Everytime I put it on, I'm carefully measuring it out so as not to waste any. Clear skin, here I come.

3. I am done with my Christmas shopping. All of it! (Hmmm, I keep thinking there's one more thing I would like to buy J. Poor guy never gets much actual stuff during the year, he usually gets presents like Dolphin tix or cash). Presents will be shipped tomorrow to my NY peeps. By the way, the watch didn't ask me to stay so it will also be making the trip to New York.

4. Only one more week of school! And then FREEDOM! Sweet freedom!

5. I haven't worked out since Tuesday! Again, I haven't been sleeping well, and therefore not feeling well enough to go to the gym. But today? I went for a run, and it felt delicious. I was a running machine! I was even able to run for five extra minutes!

6. Cleaning all day today. Now cleaning in general is not fun. I am not one of those clean freaks. And J doesn't help matters much. He likes to eat in bed. Ugh. Believe me, if you're going to come over, please call ahead so I can straighten up and sweep and mop the floors. But this cleaning is for my work Christmas party, which I'm hosting. I'm excited for my coworkers to see my chez and spending some quality bonding time with them.

7. Seeing my peeps this afternoon. Y'all are a bunch of crazy bitches, you hear?

"You see everyone here living their lives? You don't see anyone asking them any questions! " LMFAO

10 Random & Honest Things About Moi

1. I don't believe people who tell me I look too thin (they don't tell me that now, but they did earlier in the year) because I secretly think they want me to be fat.

2. When I'm stressed or anxious I don't sleep and suffer from seemingly random bouts of insomnia (like last night) where my body is crying for sleep but my mind is racing, racing, racing.

3. I usually feel like a cutie patootie, but lately I've been feeling hideous. My skin is oily and broken out, my hair is too long and needs shape and never looks right unless I spend forever on it, and I just don't like what I see in the mirror.

4. I got my eyebrows done last week and -woah! What a difference. But of course, the lady had to tell my how hideous my eyebrows were(I hadn't had them done in about four years) and how especially wonky my left eyebrow was.

5. I would love to have the type of life where I could wear sexy heels every day, but I did it for 12 hours yesterday, and I would have to invest in some serious physical therapy.

6. I am a Miami girl through and through. I love the weather here, and I'm actually quite peeved that it's chilly tonight.

7. Since I'm prone to depression, I don't watch the news or Lifetime movies because it puts me in a difficult place emotionally. I know, I know, way too sensitive.

8. My dream job would involve fashion in some way. I sometimes think I'd like to be a personal shopper.

9. My dog Snoopy sleeps in the bed with me every night.

10. I love it when J calls me princess, or pretty girl, or petunia. I love it. No, really. I love it.

To Gift or Not to Gift?

That is the question. So here's the deal-io. Even on my limited budget, I have bought all my peeps presents. I like all the presents I bought, and if it weren't for fit, my upper body (read: boobs) is much smaller than well, um, anyone I know (Hello, 34A, for reals, 34 effin' A), I would keep all the presents. ALL OF THEM.

Especially these two items:

(1) I bought a rhinestone-y bracelet watch (no pic available because it's just so SHINY!) for my aunt M. Last year we bought her a pin, and I didn't want to start a trend and get her a pin every year. BORING! I have peeps who buy me the same presents EVERY year. And I'm grateful. I really am. But we need to view gift giving like planting crops a la Confessions of a Shopaholic, and buy something different each year. Good for the earth, and good for Smart Cookie. Anyway, this watch is really not my style, but I really love it. I keep thinking how beautiful and practical it would be to wear to a semi or totally formal event. Do you ever have that happen? You have a really cool day watch, but nothing snazzy enough to wear to fancy party? That's the reason I usually skip wearing a watch to parties in the first place. But this watch is speaking to me. And you know how much I love it when my clothes or accessories speak to me. I plan on going to Macy's tomorrow anyway because I have to buy J some stuff (I bought him something during my 3 hour bout of insomnia last night that I hope he loves) and something for my work secret santa, so I don't know. P.S. The watch was only $15.

(2) I bought this for one of my peeps. At first, I thought she'd really love it. But now, I'm not so sure. I bought her some other stuff, too, so if I decide to keep it, it's not like I have to spend more money, but I don't want to keep it for the wrong reasons. So I think I'll hold off on wrapping it for a while and see if asks me to stay in the Ferrara home.What to do? What to do? Any ideas? Has this ever happened to you? Oh, and as an aside, now I am beginning to question two of my gift choices. I'm wondering if I should switch them, but that would involve unwrapping and rewrapping, blah, blah, blah.

Odds & Ends

Because there is no cohesive thread to any of these thoughts....

1. Sometimes, it's SO worth it:

School News -Yesterday, I was speaking with a former parent, whose child is now in 4th grade, and sharing what one grandmother, whose granddaughter is now in 3rd grade, told me last year. Do you follow? It's a little bit complicated. Anyway, the grandmother told me she was surprised by how kind and loving I was because when I had my last class I always looked so bitter and miserable. This is not entirely untrue (the bitter and miserable part) because that class was, kindly put, "a challenge". Anyway, this mother was shocked when I told her and told me that I was the best teacher her daughter had ever had. It was so unexpected and so lovely to hear in light of the difficulties that I have been having with Mr. & Mrs. LeDouchetard, the parents of a child in my class, who have, no joke, seemingly made it their mission to subtly stick it to me and blame me for their child's difficulties, that it made it worth it. It reminded me that whether or not I remain a teacher, some parents get it. Some parents get me. And some parents are grateful.

Working Out -Yesterday as I was coming out of the gym restroom, a fellow spinner, who I secretly made fun of in my head because of her questionable choice of workout wear, asked me how much weight I had lost and told me how great I looked. Even though it made ME feel like a douche, because I laughed at her in my big, superior spinning brain, it was really sweet and thoughtful and kindly said. It made me feel good to know that someone had noticed. Besides J who only notices when he is lamenting my small boobies.

2. Possibilities:

Job-o-rama -Tomorrow I am doing a drive-by or a ride-a-long, if you will, with my friend who's a pharmaceutical rep. It's not an interview or anything remotely close to a job, but I'm looking forward to entertaining the maybe possiblity of a career change. Plus, free breakfast and lunch. Count me in! I am super excited because I get to wear my beautiful new outfit. It's a black Audrey Hepburn-esque dress with delicious patent heels and my mom's vintage Gucci bag. It screams RICH BITCH! It screams YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL! I love it when my outfits scream random thoughts. LOL.

Back to School -Maybe! On December 31st, I'm going to FIU to see about beginning graduate school. I am nervous and all kinds of excited about the possibility. I only hope because I will be one of the last to register, as a result of my non-degree seeking student status, that there will still be courses available to fit my schedule.

3. Blind as a Bat -Today, my left eye contact was bothering me something fierce. No matter how many times I took it out and cleaned it, it still hurt like a mother and was giving me a headache. S suggested that it might be torn, and the next time I took it out, I realized that it had a small tear in it. I threw it out and spent the rest of the afternoon covering my left eye to alleviate the mind-numbing dizziness. Ugh. So, first thing when I got home, I put on my spectacles. I finded and finded for my contact. I was sure I had an extra one! But to my horror! I'm out of contacts! So tomorrow when I do my drive-by I will be a one-eyed pirate. :( Why don't you wear your spectacles you may ask? Because! Whitey chewed 'em a lil' bit and they do not scream RICH BITCH or I AM SUCCESSFUL! So tomorrow, I will be suffering a petite peu.

4. Luleh -These are AWESOME bras that you can buy at Macys. I heart their bras something serious. Really pretty and feminine, not cheap or trashy looking. Sometimes you can buy super expensive bras, like $50 (that's expensive pour moi) and they look a little cheap or they are not comfy. Not these bras! They are really lovely and comfy and totally worth the price. They're normally $36, I know, I know, that's not super inexpensive either, but if you can get them on sale or with discounts, they're only about $24. Totally worth it.

5. Parties -I am hosting two mini-parties at my house this holiday season. One is for my girls. My cousins and I get together every year and have buckets of fun. And the second is for the elementary teachers at my school. The parties are totally going to be low-key, nothing fancy, but I really feel that the house looks beautiful and I'm happy to share it with the people I care so much about it.

6. Dreams -I haven't been sleeping well at all this week, and I am super duper exhausted. Yesterday during my planning period, I locked my classroom doors and lay down for 20 minutes on the floor. No joke. Last night I slept horribly. I dreamt that I brought like a five pound bag of pot to work! WTF? But I didn't think it was a big deal. I was in the gym with some of my coworkers when the principal came in and said the dogs were here. The dogs? You mean the drug sniffing dogs? Oh for shiz. I flipped out and my sleep was most certainly not restful.

7. Christmas -I realize that I love Christmas, I just don't like the expectation of Christmas day. I'm really enjoying decorating and shopping for my peeps. I don't know what I'm going to get J. I think that I am going to get him some presents and then just give him a little cash. I know. That's SO tacky. But since I can't get him a TV, I really think it's what he'd prefer. Oh well.

Wrap me up!

This is my winter wonderland. J says it's the best tree we've ever done, and I have to agree. It's also the most beautiful-est that we've ever decorated.

But enough of that! Down to business. I've got great news! I'm done with 99 % of my Christmas shopping! Woo-hoo! This morning, I skipped the gym (my favorite spinning instructor was going to be out because she had to take a final), and headed to the Dolphin mall. I got all cute, or so I thought (it was like that Seinfeld episode with the pretty/ugly girl), and headed to the mall. I got there too early, though. They don't open until 10, and I was there at 9:45. But I managed to snag a primo parking spot. Well, kinda primo. It was under a tree, and apparently, it was the birds' toilet, as evidenced by all the poop on my car when I got back, but whatever.

Anyway, because we're broke, I went with a budget and a list, which I never do. Not that I ever have so much money that I never worry about it, but this time, I went with a plan and a specific dollar amount in my brain. To give you an idea, my budget was $200, and I had to buy for 12 people + my secret santa + tiny gifts for my 4 peeps, C, M, L, and K. Yikes! Can we do the math on that? That's $16.66/person, not including my secret santa or peeps. Now, let me clarify something. I don't think you have to spend a lot of money to give a good gift. I've received lots of inexpensive gifts that I have LOVED, and lots (okay, some) expensive gifts that I've HATED. But this year, I was going to have to get creative. Very creative.

Now, even with my miniscule budget, I tried super hard to get gifts that I thought people would enjoy. Here's a rundown:

• My nephews are easy -gift cards, ring 'em up.
• My dad and my father-in-law, piece of cake. Soft polos? Medium and Large. Or, um, Large and Medium. Thank you very much.
• My niece, C, cute stuff, with the tags, just in case, for easy returns. My feelings are never hurt.
• My niece, E, totally the easiest to shop for. Great deals on super cute accessories.
• My mother-in-law. One tough cookie. But I found a beautiful sweater. Well, I think it's lovely. She may think it's poop. That's why I bought it at a chain store and left the tags on. Better safe than sorry. (FYI, I already bought my mamacita a present last week so I didn't include her in the budget. No way was Smart Cookie going to forget her mama!)
• My sister. Creative shopping. But I think she'll like it.
• My sister's boyfriend. A lil' bit of a challenge, until I hit the Nike Outlet. Problem solved.
• My brother and his soon to be wife. Also a conundrum. Not a good idea to divide and conquer. Hmmm. Until I realized that they are usually broke, too, and would probably enjoy a gift certificate to a local restaurant. It wasn't for too much, but definitely something they could do.
• My secret Santa. Is. Going. To. Love. Her. Gift. LOVE.
• My peeps. Done, done, done, done.

So, I didn't stick to my budget. It was pretty impossible. I went $67 over. And that doesn't include a little something that I bought for J and a little something that I bought for me. I haven't even started really shopping for J. I'd love to buy him a TV, but that seems like wishful thinking. All he wants is for me to love him. That's a direct quote. :) Which is cute, but he needs a present or two or three. And I still have to buy presents for my class and for my Aunt M. But the bulk is taken care of. So put a bow on me and call it a day!

Christmas Wish List

Why the hell not? That's why it's called a WISH list.

A trip to Paris. I studied abroad one summer, and it always makes me happy to think about it. I was single then, so even though I have all kinds of yummy memories -I wasn't a nun back then, I would love to share it with J.

My ipod dock is kaput. It's no big because I can charge my ipod with my computer, but I miss being able to play songs while I putter around my chez.

I want to be a big girl and wear big girl panties. Panties without sayings on them, like the ones I'm currently sporting which say, "My dog is cuter than yours. " Oh, and I'd like that flat belly, too.

J bought me my current hair dryer a couple of Christmases ago. It was a total surprise and he did an awesome job picking it out, but it's no longer drying my hair as quickly as it used to. I love this Tourmaline T3. It's professional, bitch!

I love this perfume. It's Sweet Pea from Bath and Body Works. My nose is super sensitive, and although there are lots of perfumes I love, there are only two perfumes I can actually wear -this one, and Estee Lauder's Pure White Linen. I love this Michael Kors watch. It's big and chunky and looks way more expensive than it is. Don't get me wrong, it's expensive, just not Cartier expensive, or um, Seiko expensive.

I love this poster so much. That's all I can say about it. I love it. Muchos.

Babies. Aren't these babies delicious? My gosh I just want to get them and smooch all over them. Please make sure to poke holes in the box so that they can breathe. One would be fine, but two would be divine.

But I don't want to be all kinds of selfish. I wish for a TV for Mr. Smart Cookie. Last year I promised him that this would be his year. But poop happens, no? So maybe next year. Don't worry lovey, I haven't forgotten.
And last, but certainly not least, I would give big, huge, ginormous checks to my friends who are in the same boat. I'm thinking about you, always. :)

A girl can dream, right? So let's play and pretend. What's on your wish list?

Quotes

I read this quote on lovemaegan.com, who read this quote from Jennifer Anniston in the latest issue of Vogue:

Everything you want in the world

is just right outside your comfort zone.

We should totally be BFF, Jen. My feelings exactly. I totally get it. Totally.