Weekend Update

Because I'm lazy, and I've got a lot of random stuff to say and no chohesive way to tie it all together but to use a list.

1. Yesterday, I was supposed to go to the beach. I'd been looking forward to it all week. All WEEK, I tell you! But, no. No beach for me. Because guess who has two thumbs and got her period? That would be moi. And getting my period effectively put the kaibosh on my plans. Because homegirl cannot go to the beach with the vicious vomitting and diarrhea that accompanies the first day of her period. Bummer. I even had my bathing suit (cute red top and frilly floral bottoms) and the book I was going to read already planned. Can we say sad-face? Very sad-face.

I had been planning on getting all cute and tan because my naked girl bikini (the white bits of your body that are hidden by your bikini that become extremely visible when you're nice and toasty, and um, naked-hence the name) had faded, and living in Miami, there's no excuse for not having a glow 10 months out of the year. And, me? I figure, it's already March. Time to get my shake and bake going on, if you know what I mean.

2. Instead, I went to Target. I'm okay with the whole not shopping, but jeez. I am bored out of my mind. Target is the only place where I can go and not go bat-shit crazy jonesing for clothes, shoes, or accessories. Not that they don't have cute stuff. They totally do. But I can control myself there. Let's just say I have not been to the mall in 17 days because I do not trust myself there.

Somehow, I still managed to spend $50 (wtf?), and I swear to you, cookies, I bought a book, (2) rolls of toothpaste, (8) pasta bowls, (1) box of mushroom risotto, (1) four-pack of cadbury eggs (did you know those things have 150 calories/egg!!!!), some body lotion (my new favorite addiction -no new clothes, but velvety soft skin), (1) box of granola bars, Shape magazine, and? Hmmmm, I think that's it. Well. Now that I think about it, maybe $50 smackaroonies is not that bad.

UPDATE: And toothbrushes.

3. When I came home, I got to spend some time with J before he went to a bachelor party. I was going to miss him, really. But my bootleg movie connection had lent me The Reader and Slumdog Millionaire, so I was going to be able to have my own mini-Oscar night.

Let me just say that I'm not a huge movie watcher. Especially if I'm home because I get ridiculously easily distracted. First, I watched The Reader. Which. Was. Beautiful. Kinda Cinema Paradiso-ish, but with books. That's a really simplistic definition, but it is what it is. And I loved it. And Kate Winslet? Divine. Perfection. Amazing. Just a little caveat. You see her boobies (yay! so similar to my own!) and you see bushy penis.

4. Then I went to the gym. Yes, because I am an animal. K, maybe not so much of an animal. Maybe more of a competitive bitch. My cousin mentioned she ran 5 miles the other day and this compounded by the fact that she is on the uber successful Break-Up Diet and is the skinniest she's ever been made me freak out -FREAK OUT that I was going to be the fat one in my family. Which prompted her to ask if she used to be the fat one, which NO! she never was, but because I am again, super competitive (have I mentioned that already?), I want to be the skinniest. I want to be called Nicole Richie and bobblehead -which, I used to be called.

Anyhoodle, despite having my period, I high-tailed it to the gym, where I proceeded to run 5 miles in 50 minutes. So, yay for me! I can do it, too! Good thing because I would've been pissed if I wouldn't have been able to run that far. But to be fair, running on the treadmill and running outside are not the same thing, and I highly doubt I could run 5 miles outside. Unless. Unless someone offered to buy me a present. Then I'm sure I could do it. Gosh, I wish that would happen. Especially in light of all this Lent business.

5. Then I went home and watched Slumdog Millionaire. Another great movie. Totally Oscar worthy. But kinda sad, too. Kinda made me wonder why all Oscar nominated movies are such heartwarming downers. Aren't there any funny Oscar worthy movies? Ones with no bits of sadness? Maybe something to look into, Academy. I'm just saying.

6. Today I went to pool. It wasn't the beach, but I was still able to get my Vitamin D. Holler! Oh, and let me tell you. At one point, I looked into the pool (still too cold to get into), and I saw a bird. And, um, I don't know if y'all know this, but I'm terrified of birds. Straight-up terrified. I know that this is a totally learned behavior because my mom is terrified of birds. But even though it's a learned behavior, I really can't help it. Birds are just so flighty and unpredictable.

This little birdie was just floating in the pool, so I kinda figured it had to be injured. I didn't want to get involved, so I just kept reading my book. About half an hour later, I looked into the pool and didn't see it. But it was a lie. The bird was resting its head on the filter. Oh. My. Goodness. That's all I needed. For a bird to be sucked into the filter and die a gruesome death. Well. NOT ON MY WATCH.

I looked for the pool scooper upper (not it's real name, but I don't know what it's called), and I couldn't find it ANYWHERE. So I searched the entire backyard for something suitable to scoop up this bird. And, NOTHING. I tried to use a cushion, but unless I was planning on killing the bird by drowning it with the cushion (um, not so much), it wasn't really what I was going for.

Then I went into the garage and found the dustpan. Perfect. I scooped the bird up (it was definitely a little injured, or at the very least, shell-shocked), and I dumped it (gently!) on the ground, where it proceeded to scurry off into the bushes.

Whew! What a relief. Crisis averted.

UPDATE: I called my mom to tell her about the little bird, and she thanked me profusely, saying that if she would've found a bird floating in her pool she would've freaked the frig out. No doubt.

7. Then J and I went to Fuddruckers for lunch. Delicous, my cookies. Delicious.

So that's my weekend update! Thanks for reading, and have a pleasant tomorrow!