Losing It

I'm not losing anything but my damn mind.

It's no secret that I'm obssessed with my weight. Sometimes I feel that my life and my blog posts are consumed with endless bitching about my weight.

Last year I was really skinny. But since then, I've steadily put on weight. Anywhere from 7 - 10 pounds depending on the fluctuations. Luckily, I'm pretty fit, and I've somewhat maintained my workout routine, which has definitely prevented me from going all Hulk-ish and busting out of my clothes (sorta, if you remember I had to buy some new clothes at the end of last summer because my skinny bottoms no longer fit).

It's no big mystery what has changed. J's work schedule makes it pretty difficult for us to eat dinner together. I spin on Mondays, he works late on Tuesdays, he's out of town on Wednesdays, I get lazy on Thursday, and the weekend starts on Friday. So I've been eating more processed foods (pasta bowls, anyone?) because they're easy and convenient, and I've been eating larger servings of fattier foods (nachos, pizza rolls, jalepeno poppers, icecream, Twix) on the weekends.

I still fit into my clothes. Barely. What I find incredibly ironic is that I feel like I look slightly better than ever (not counting my belly, of course).

But I can't help it! I want the scale to tell me my magic number! And it's not telling me what I want it to tell me.

So this week I'm starting detox. As soon as I finish writing this, I'm going to Publix and buying good foods. Turkey, chicken, salad, fruits, vegetables.


Jeez. I hope we start eating better and that we don't change our minds and decide to order pizza.