Kill Me Now

So sometimes I get these really great ideas. Like, um, I don't know, starting a book club. Which is all well and good. In theory. I've been excited about it for the last four weeks.

But now? Now I am freaking the frig out. I have been cleaning and cleaning. No easy feat with three rambunctious dogs, who shed crazily. And I'm studying every bit of my house like an escaped OCD patient. The metal thingies on the stove are disgusting. DISGUSTING. Do NOT look in the microwave -it's dirty! Do not open a closet or cabinet door -I've shoved all the clutter into any available space. Dangerous. And my room? Totally off limits. It's a mess. And the mess is making crazy. Because people are coming to my home and I don't want them to think I'm a dirty girl. The stress is unbearable.

And today? Today, the stress made me eat McDonald's. I am hosting a book club tomorrow where the topic of discussion will be fitness and healthy eating and I ATE MCDONALD'S. I ATE MCDONALD'S. Oh my word. The horror.*

And the thing is, I KNOW it will be fun! I KNOW it will. This is just my usual M.O. It goes something like this:

1. Invite people over.
2. Talk about how excited I am to have said people over.
3. Clean house.
4. Freak out about cleaning house.
5. Be completely overwhelmed by cleaning the house.
6. Wish for new things. Patio furniture, French doors, rugs, curtains, furniture, plasma TV, bookshelves, living plants, and a cleaning lady.
7. Regret inviting people over.
8. Consider killing myself.
9. Cry. A little.
10. Get ready.
11. Dread the minutes before anyone knocks on the door.
12. Have a great time and forget all prior insanity.

K, just another 20 hours to go.

*It was secretly delicious. Gosh, sometimes a girl just needs McDonald's.