- Keeping treats in the house. Rewind to Sunday when I ate half a jar of frosting (in addition to the three donuts that I had already eaten) that I had originally bought to frost a cake I was going to bake with my class the following day, and later to Monday, when I ate almost the other half and had to put dishwashing liquid in the container to avoid eating anymore. I just can't keep treats in the house. I have no self-control. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch.
- Stepping on the scale. As a result of the vicious cycle of anxiety, self-loathing, overeating, and inertia that I have experienced in the last three months, I have added six pounds to my already (for me) fatty mcbutterpants weight. On Monday I weighed myself (something that I used to do religiously on a daily basis and have rarely done over the last three months), and I almost. Passed. Out. 141 pounds. I have never weighed so much. Never. Three months of cookies, ice cream, loaded fries, pizza, and bags of M&M's have wreaked havoc on my body. I know that I am not fat. But weight is a very personal thing. And the fact that I am bulging out of my pants is a big flashing sign. Earth to Smart Cookie: It's time for the bingeing to stop and the exercise to start.
- Going "window" shopping. I always come home with something. And even though my night job has kept us in the black, and we have not added to our debt, I have more than enough clothes. I mean, just yesterday, I was telling J that I really needed to clean the bathroom, and he said, "Yeah, half your wardrobe is piled in there." And I actually thought about it and said, "Half my wardrobe? Not even close! Do you know how many clothes I have?" Um, obviously too many. Ugh, but I can't help it! I love pretty things! I'm currently obssessed with some booties I saw at Nordstrom and a leather strap Michael Kors watch and these yellow Gap cordoroys! Help me! Save me from myself!
- Searching for people from my past on FACEBOOK. It's just bad news bears. Seriously.
- Wondering why everyone and their mother has a baby (see ways I torture myself #4). Last week I dreamt that my mother was pregnant, and she didn't know how to tell me because she thought I would be upset. Actually, I'd be happy if someone in my family got pregnant. I could deal with being pregnant by proxy.
Deep sigh. Deep, deep sigh.
Posts
1 comments:
I totally agree with your #4 and #5...the more people I find on FB the more I find out are having (or already had), or are on their 2nd, 3rd, babies...and I'm at zero. But then I think to myself, I have already accomplished all that I have set out to do (educationally), so maybe one day (soon!) babies will come along too:-) Keep your chin up!
Post a Comment