If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands

Clap, Clap!

Oh, cookies. As someone who is prone to pessimism and is only occasionally cautiously optimistic, things have been going... oh, my word! Do I dare say it? They've been going really well! And I'm terrified, TERRIFIED, that this is just the initial calm before the storm, and that within the next few days I can expect my dryer to break or my dogs to get sick or to get my period (to be honest, I'm feeling period-ish so that won't be such a huge surprise or downer).

Because all the other things? They're just spanky!

1. My job. Love it. Love it. Love it. My kids are awesome. I no longer have the class from hell OR THEIR PARENTS. My schedule is a breeze. I no longer have to stay late to get my work done because I've saved all my lesson plans on WORD and I just have to cut and paste and add some new activities. Easy peasy.
2. Mrs. LeDouchetard's comeuppance. Ooooooh, yes! It happened! My principal recommended me for a tutoring opportunity, and I met with the parent (who loved me, LOVED me) this morning. As the parent was leaving, she saw Mrs. LeDouchetard and said, "Oh, I have to thank Mrs. LeDouchetard. I spoke to her on Monday and she said she had an elementary teacher in mind for this opportunity, AND I'M SURE IT HAD TO BE YOU!" Ha! Right! Like she would EVER recommend me for anything. Oh, I wish I could've seen her face when the parent told her it would be ME! I later found out Mrs. LeDouchetard was planning to recommend my work BFF, S, but my principal (THE PRINCIPAL) recommended me because I have previous middle school experience. Thank you, Jesus! You have a hilarious sense of humor -and timing! And it's true what the Bible says about revenge -God will take care of it. Amen, cookies. Amen.
3. This tutoring, which starts in December, will mean some more income, and it means that I am for shizzle getting a cleaning lady! Yay, yay, yay!
4. I'm going to church again. I've gone for the past four weeks and I love it. It's pretty close by, and the service is AMAZING. I usually don't like to talk about religion, but going to church has really made me feel better, so I'm grateful for that.
5. I have been exercising! Yes, yes I have. I only went twice last week, and so far I've only gone twice this week, but that's definitely progress, right? That's way more than I've gone in the last four months!

Now if you're sick of all this dumb happiness, here are some pebbles in my shoe that might make you giggle.

1. On Saturday I went to the grocery store while starving. Bad, bad move. I was bewitched by a Krispy Kreme six pack and bought it. I then proceeded to eat four donuts on the five minute drive from the store to my house. And, I only ate four because my mom called me, and I didn't want to chew and talk at the same time. If not, I for sure could've eaten five, and in the past, I've been known to come home with an empty box. :)
2. After Saturday school, I went to the mall. I really hate fall fashions. It's all lumber jack -y and warm and it's fricking 90 degrees here! Anyhoodle, I found some really cute stuff at the Gap and went to pay. I had them look up my Gap card, which I only let myself use because I pay the balance in full every month, and the salesclerk said my card had been DENIED. Um, MORTIFICATION. I told her that it was IMPOSSIBLE, and that she needed to run that shit again. She then goes into a very condescending speech about if I've made a payment it might take a couple of days to process, blah, blah, blah, and I said listen, I owe x dollars for this month. My limit is 10x. RUN IT AGAIN. And, duh, it totally went through. Of course, not before I prayed for the earth to swallow me whole and all.

K, cookies. That's it for now. Remember, keep calm and carry on.

xoxo