We had a technology seminar today where we learned about muchos free websites that make teaching more exciting. I'll admit, I was bitching and moaning before the seminar. I've got a buttload of stuff to do, and the idea of spending the whole day learning about technology? Boo. Hiss. Growl.
But after learning how to dothis,I had a serious attitude adjustment.
Doing lesson plans and bulletin boards can suck it.
Please enjoy random and amusing quotes from my beloved DNA.
Before my surgery: Smart Cookie Mother: Remember when I hated your father?
Smart Cookie Mother: I found these great chairs at Marshall's so I told your dad to guard them while I went to the bathroom and while I was walking away I saw someone walking toward the chairs and looking at the prices so I ran back and told him, "Hey, these are my chairs!", and he said, "But I only want one!", and I said, "Too bad! They're mine!", and the manager was watching me argue with this guy, and I told the manager, "Look, if I have to fight for those chairs, I will. And let me tell you, I'll win. I'm taking these chairs home."
To my mother after learning that she got into an argument with the hospital staff taking care of my nana. Smart Cookie: Mom, please promise me that I will never have to bail you out of jail.
Smart Cookie Brother (when he was very young): Man! That's the biggest cat I've ever seen! Note: It was a goat.
Smart Cookie Grandmother: Sometimes your grandfather drives me so crazy I just want to put him outside by the mailbox with a big ribbon on his head and see if anyone will take him!
Smart Cookie Sister: I bet you her boyfriend's coming, too.
Smart Cookie Sister's Boyfriend: Okay, I'll bet you (some sex act I was happy I didn't hear, la, la, la, la, la) that he won't come.
Smart Cookie Sister: Okay, if I win I want you to rub my back for an entire show. Deal and they shake on it.
(Boyfriend shows up)
Smart Cookie Sister: Ha! I win!
Smart Cookie Sister's Boyfriend: No, no! We were just kidding!
Smart Cookie Sister: But we shaked on it!
Smart Cookie Sister's Boyfriend: I know we shooked on it, but I didn't know what we were shaking for.
Laughing so hard I'm crying in the backseat. Shaked and shooked! And my sister's going to be a doctor!
Smart Cookie Father: Yeah, I can hear so much better with this hearing aid. I can even hear my hair rustling in the wind. And if I can't hear, the hearing aid is connected to a satellite and a voice says, "Hey, you son of a bitch, can you hear this?"
In a conversation comparing the girl cousins and the boy cousins: Smart Cookie Cousin M: What's the point of being good? We're the ones who actually work and got good grades and didn't go to jail, and the boys are the ones who get everything!
Smart Cookie Cousin C: I talk so much. Sometimes I'm talking and talking and while I'm talking I'm thinking in my head, "You're talking so much!", but I can't stop!
On finding out she didn't get into the physical therapy program (which turned out to be a mistake, she did get in): Smart Cookie Sister: But this would never happen to you! OMG, what am I going to do! I want to get married, and have a family, and buy a house, and what am I going to do for money?! Note: My sister has over $30,000 saved, mmmmkay?
My godmother started feeding Kitty, the neighborhood cat. When Kitty got knocked up and had babies, my godmother didn't want to take care of the kittens too so she dropped them off in another neighborhood. But Kitty was so sad, and she kept crying and crying for her babies. So my aunt went back to the neighborhood and found two out of the three cats, Buddy & Meow Meow. Smart Cookie Godmother: They're always there by the door! It's like they're waiting for me to come out. Sometimes I swear to you I think that they're spying on me, looking at me with their big old cat eyes. Note: Kitty got pregnant again, but we don't know where those babies are.
Upon finding the laminating that I dropped off last Wednesday would not be ready as promised. Smart Cookie: What?! What am I supposed to do? Maybe if the laminating guy wasn't so busy combing the four hairs on his head he would've finished my stupid laminating!
Put the names with the faces. Honorary Cousin A, Smart Cookie Sister, Cousin M, Cousin K (really the least crazy, I can't think of anything remotely nutty she's ever said), Cousin C, Smart Cookie
So. Do you understand now? I can't help it. It's genetic. We're all crazy.
So. Summer is over. Tomorrow, I have to go back to school. And it's definitely bittersweet because I've had a really great summer.
Let's go over some of the highlights:
1. Joe and I went to the Dominican Republic, our first vacation in over six years.
2. I worked with my parents for a good majority of the summer, which helped keep us in the semi-black financially. My mom approached me about possibly working with her next year and eventually taking over the business. It's a lot to think about. I haven't made a decision, but it feels good to know that I have options. I like the idea of owning my own business.
3. I got a night job, which was also a financial blessing because lately I've felt as if we've been hemmorhaging money. The refrigerator broke and it was $250 smackaroonies and J's car needed new tires and some other repairs so that was another $250 buckeroos and between a little of this and that, we had to dip into our super tiny modest savings. But like J says, "At least we had it."
4. J and I seriously discussed our finances. I manage the monies, and sometimes J has a don't ask don't tell policy about money. He's a big believer in the idea that things will just work themselves out. But after hitting rock bottom, we were forced to seriously address the situation. We cut up our credit cards, cut back, and are working on being debt free. I've paid off some of my baby cards (Gap & Victoria's Secret), and even though we have a long way to go, I really believe we'll get there.
5. My lovely nieces came to visit. We did a bunch of fun stuff (beach, pool, paddleboarding), and I was so sad to see them go.
6. I got my lady business cleaned up, and I'm ready to get pregnant. I'm trying to stay positive so that my overwhelming hope doesn't break my heart if things don't work out, but I'm leaving it in God's hands. Or trying to, anyway. I have dreams of a double pregnancy with my new SWF.
7. I started taking anxiety medication. And I love it. I really think it works. I haven't cried in weeks, and I definitely feel more level-headed. That doesn't mean that I don't have the occasional episode, but overall, I feel more in control. I actually wish my dose were higher, but that would mean going back to my devil doctor. And, um, no.
8. I've started some new friendships, which have made me really happy. I've always been more of a loner, primarily because I'm terrified of getting hurt. And I'm super sensitive about my crazy idiosyncraises, which have always made sustaining friendships difficult. But I'm making progress, cookies. And it feels good.
9. I reconnected with God. So funny, right? Like I just called him up and said, "Hey, You, it's been a while." But I had lost my faith. Too busy, too worried, too much thinking about everything else. So when I hit rock bottom, it felt good to know that even though I had run away from Him, He was still there.
There've been a lot of ups and downs, but I really think that this is the best summer I've ever had.
according to one artist. I copied this meme from A. It's super fun, and definitely not as easy as it looks. I looked up song titles from the Goo Goo Dolls and Britney Spears before settling on U2.
To play, answer the following questions using only song titles from one artist.
And, voila!
My Life,by U2
Are you male or female: She's a Mystery to Me
Describe Yourself: Lady with the Spinning Head
How do you feel about yourself: Running to Stand Still, Mysterious Ways
Describe where you currently live: Miami
The first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning: New Day, Another Day
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Where the Streets Have No Name
Your favorite form of transportation: Fast Cars, Walk On
Your best friend(s) is/are: Let the Good Times Roll
Your favorite color is: Your Blue Room, A Different Kind of Blue
What's the weather like: Beautiful Day, Staring at the Sun
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Even Better Than the Real Thing
Whatis Life to You: Sweetest Thing
What is the best advice that you have to give: Don't Give Up
If you could change your name, what would it be: Grace
Your favorite food is: Summer Wine
Your soul's present condition: Rejoice
How would you describe your love life: All I Want is You, Love You Like Mad
This commercial. O. M. G. I swear it only comes on at night, and I've been telling everyone about it BUT NO ONE HAS SEEN IT BUT ME! And it combines my favorite things. Ice cream, cake, and a catchy beat.
Tell me that you're not singing it!
Hey Mon. Remember when I told you I got a part-time night job answering phones at night for my uncle's law firm? The job is only from 11:30 to 12:30, and I make $30 smackaroonies a night. Pretty awesome.
Well, this week I got promoted. At least that's what I'm telling people. Instead of answering the phones, I get to be the boss and communicate with the head of production at the station. So much better than answering the phones! And I HEART being the boss.
Anyhoodle, I get home late, and I'm pretty tired. When school starts, it'll be a challenge, but we need the money and I've got to hustle. So I'll be teaching, wearing my bossy boots, AND doing Saturday school once it starts. AND hopefully I can find one or two kids to tutor. So. Sometimes I feel like this:
My Nieces.I've been MIA because my lovely nieces came to visit last weekend. I had THE BEST TIME. We went to the beach, and to Venetian Pool and paddleboarding, and we ate delicous crepes, and pretended we were Miami Social by eating at Van Dykes. It was awesome. I only wish that we could've taken them out at night. Next time for sure. And pictures. I didn't take any. :(
If I could shrink them and carry them in my pocket, I totally would. They're beautiful and funny and bright and kind and I love them forever.
Gap Jeans. I'm really not into this whole distressed denim trend, but I'm loving these jeans and already wondering how I'm going to buy them and work them into my wardrobe.
Chocolate Shakes. I've been drinking a chocolate shake, EVERY NIGHT, for the last two weeks. At first, we were buying them from McDonald's, but now, I've perfected it, and I make them at home. Deliciousness.
The Ocean. When my nieces were here, I was happy that they wanted to spend so much time at the beach. Because the beach is so far, and it's a hassle to park, and there are so many frickin people, J and I never go to the beach unless we're in Marco Island. So I was super happy to be at the beach this weekend. The sun was shining, the water was warm, and it was just super relaxing.
Sundays are when my anxiety levels go through the roof. I haven't figured out why, but whether I stay at home or go out, my body is humming, and my breathing is labored, and my heart feels like it's going to crawl up my throat and escape out of my mouth.
Today I wanted to run some errands. This week is a busy week. I've got two doctor's appointments, a massage appointment (after this one I have four more to use in the next three weeks -I know, cry me a river), three days of work, some cleaning (so my niece won't have to feel guilty when she tells her Nani, J's mother, that no, we do NOT live in filfth), a little bit of grocery shopping, AND I need to squeeze in an eyebrow and manicure/pedicure because my eyebrows look like Sasquatch's and I can never do my nails as pretty as a professional.
And that didn't include what I wanted to get done today. I wanted to go to the mall to check out Forever 21 (it was a wash, I hate it when they stock up on fall clothes), to Target to buy some basics, and to Get Smart, the school supply store to buy materials for my classroom (which would be free as long as I stuck to my school budget of $75).
I wanted to go, but before I left I could feel my anxiety bubbling inside. I went anyway, and had a panic attack in the mall. I had to keep my hand on my chest and take deep breaths.
I don't know how to explain it. But it's like this. Imagine a pot boiling. That's my body. And then you put a lid on it. From the outside, you can't tell the pot boiling. But on the inside, it's craziness. That's how I feel. Normal looking on the outside, but on the inside, my body is having a physical reaction that will manifest itself as an emotional reaction (like the pot boiling over) if I don't simmer down.
I called J from the mall, and he told me to relax, to which I replied, "If it was that easy, don't you think I would do that?" But he stayed on the phone with me and reminded me to take deep breaths. When I got home, he told me my breathing was so irregular, it sounded like I was gasping for air.
I then went to Target to buy some razors, toilet paper, and other odds and ends. By then I could feel myself slowing down. And by the time I got to Get Smart, I didn't feel so panic-y. There was a moment when the cashier told me she couldn't process my order because I needed a P.O. number, and I freaked the frig out because the store is soooooo far away, and duh, school is closed on Sundays so no way to get a P.O. number, and if I had to go back all that way I was going to drive my car into a tree, but luckily all that was avoided when the cashier said, "Oops, no! My mistake!" Good for her, because I assure you I could not be held liable for my reaction if it had gone the other way.
When I got home, I lay in bed for a little while, and the humming subsided. I feel much better. My heartbeat is a little fast, but I'll live. :)
On a funny note (because jeez this post is so serious, kind of a downer), here's a little random-ity randomness:
There's this guy in my neighborhood who walks his parrot. Not on a leash or anything, though I would love to see that. He just walks around with this parrot on his arm. Maybe he's looking for his ship?
Want to read a funny joke? Where do crazy people walk in the forest? On the "psycho" path. LOL
Today, I saw a huge dead dog on the side of the road. So sad. But J did not see it. So on the way back, I said, "Look babe! It's right there! You see that big thing! There it is! Oh....Oh, no! That's just a rock -that's not the dog! Where was it?"
My sister wanted to see my scar, so I said, "I haven't shaved down there, and I don't want you to give me any grief about it, okay?" To which she replied, "I can hardly see your scar! But whoa! It looks like a hairy armpit down there."
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