Baby Steps

1. I got a new job!

2. I'm an executive assistant.

3. My new boss is a maltov cocktail of Miranda Priestly, Mr. Pitt, and Jeff Lewis.

4. I find him ridiculously charming and neurotic.

5. Especially when he asks me to book his haircut.

6. But I love my job.

7. And I'm really happy.

8. I get to go to the bathroom WHENEVER I want.

9. And if I don't bring my lunch, I get to eat lunch at a real restaurant.

10. With airconditioning!

11. Now my shopping addiction has changed from floaty dresses to work clothes.

12. I'm currently loving, LOVING Ann Taylor Loft.

13. My old work BFF works there.

14. I'm driving her crazy with my requests.

15. She gets 40% off regular priced merchandise!

16. I used to think work clothes were a waste of money.

17. But that was before I got to wear big girl clothes and shiny heels.

18. These are my new must have shoes:

19. I can't get them yet because I already bought a pair of brown must have shoes.

20. Boo.

21. Hoo.

22. My BFF had a baby.

23. She's really cute.

24. And I'm not saying that just because J and I are the godparents.

25. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would.

26. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt at all.

27. J and I are seeing a fertility specialist.

28. It's a lot of work.

29. And it stresses me out.

30. At last week's appointment, I bit my nails to the quick.

31. Because I'm the only one that has to worry about taking pills and what I eat and making my appointments.

32. Even though I'm fatter than ever.

33. Because stress makes me CRAVE sugar.

34. It's always on my mind.

35. Sometimes I think J just wants a baby now because our BFF's have one.

36. But when he rubs my belly and says, "Hi, babies!" it melts my heart.

37. Yes, babies. Plural.

38. You know, multiple eggs = increased chances of multiple births.

39. I'm trying to be a happier girl.

40. I've got a good life.

41. But there are a lot of ups and downs.

42. Sometimes I'm on top of the world.

43. And then I slip and I'm in the deep pits of despair.

44. I'd like to reach a happy medium.

45. Let's just say, I'm a work in progress.