Random Ramblings

If I could pour out the contents of my brains cohesively, then I would find a way to thread all this mish mash together. But since I am exhausted beyond belief -last night the sound of the crickets chirping made me feel like my next purchase would be a beautiful white coat with thick straps that would tightly wrap my arms around my body, bullet points is the way to go.

*Last night was my first meeting at Weight Watchers. And, eh. I'm a little scared. I weighed in at 154.6, but that includes my shoes which weighed .8 ounces. So even though the W.W. nazi didn't deduct it, I'm going to. So. My starting weight is 153.14 ounces. Bleh. And I only have 22 points. And everthing I like to eat is more than 22 points so I really have to think about everything I put in my mouth. Booooooo. Hissssss.

*The deal was to buy this new J.Crew dress when I lost ten pounds,

but I had forgotten I had bought this one a few weeks ago. Same style, different print.

So, ahem. I bought this one instead. Because I'm excellent at finding loopholes to my own rules. If only I thought so much about losing weight and exercising. I'd probably be a toothpick.*I was recently let go from my current teaching position. I'm not going to lie, it hurt like a mother, but truthfully, I had been so unhappy, I wasn't planning on coming back, and I'm happy the decision was made for me. Anyhoodle, even though I've been a tad bit bitter, I'm all about letting people know (especially Mrs. LeDouchetard) that this decision didn't break me. And today, my principal actually came to my room and thanked me for handling the situation with such grace. It sounds silly, but it made me happy. As much I sometimes want to leave in blaze of smoke and glory, grace and dignity are the way to go.

*If you're not reading Andie's blog, what's wrong with you? She's doing this really cool dress challenge where she'll only wear dresses for the next 30-ish days. I'm totally in love with this idea. Lately, I've had to pull out my dresses and wear them to work because I'm so fat I cannot wear any of my pants comfortably (except for one pair of jeans and that's really a stretch).

*My FF is pregnant, and she'll be having her baby shower in a couple of months. I have fallen head over heels for this website, which has the most gorgeous party planning ideas. Seriously, it makes me want to get married again. To the same boy, of course.

*Two weeks ago, my therapist recommended that I take the next 30 days and concentrate on myself. But, I really haven't had the time. I quit Saturday school because even though I earned some extra dollars, in retrospect, it really wasn't worth the stress. And what I really want to do is quit my night job. But that's a bunch of monies, and money talks. On a happier note, I only have 21 more days left of school, 24 if I count teacher work days. So if I can just make it until then, I'm sure all the rest will fall into place.

Much love,

Smart Cookie

P.S. As soon as school is over, I can introduce the world to my real self! Yes, Smart Cookie is my secret identity, but prepare to meet Clark Kent. :)

Like a Moth to a Flame

I'm a sucker for any kind of coupon or discount. Even though I know -I KNOW! that LOGICALLY, I will end up spending more than I save. But when I have that coupon in my hot little hands, reason flies out the door.



Last week, I got a coupon for New York & Company. I've never been a huge fan, but the last time I visited one of their stores, I was pleasantly surprised. So, I put my Spend $75 save $30, Spend $150 save $75 in my bag and planned a Saturday visit.


Oh, cookies. The plan was to only spend $75 to save the $30, but I'm sure you can guess that that is not what happened.

When the cashier rung up my purchases, the total (with tax) was $119. So I figured I'd buy my mom a shirt for Mother's Day, and save money.

Yes, I said it. Save money.

But what I didn't realize is that the coupons are only valid for pre-tax totals. So I had to sacrifice myself and buy two headbands to make it to $150. And of course, I spent more because remember, I had to spend $150 pretax. Deep sigh.


Boo. Hoo.



Here are the things I bought:
Loving this dress. Super simple, but with a brown belt, some gladiator sandals, and some colorful necklaces, I'll be good to go. For some reason I've noticed that lately, I'm drawn to very neutral colors.
This is much cuter in person. Digging the embellished neckline.

I actually bought this shirt in cream for me and in blue for my mother.

So my grand total? $92.

Deep sigh.

Every time, cookies. Every time.

Preach It

My no-baby drama usually has me in a Tasmanian tailspin, but sometimes I read something that speaks to my brokenness and makes me breathe a little easier.

"At any given point throughout this journey, two birds might sing in your head. The bird of doubt sings the song of blame and misfortune and self-flagellation. The bird of faith says, 'More shall be revealed.' You'll have to decide which of these two birds to feed."

From The Fertile Female by Julia Indichova

Amen, sister.

If I could, I would....

One of my favorite stores ever, is J.Crew. Not that I get to shop there that often.
Most of the stuff that I do buy I buy online and on sale.


This is a new arrival, and it is absolutely drool worthy.

Because I've bought two dresses in the last six weeks, my J.Crew card is on fire. And because I'm planning to start Weight Watcher's next week, I'd like to lose some weight before buying myself this deliciousness.

So.

Let's make a deal.

Next week after my "weigh in" (which terrifies me beyond belief), I'll post my weight (which terrifies me even more), and when I lose ten pounds, I'll splurge on this beauty.

Deal?

Cruise Control

The Mr. and I are going on a 7-day cruise in June.

And I seriously need to drop some weight.

I am in a ginormous funk. I've gained about 25 pounds since August, and about 15 of those pounds since December. I don't really mind too much -I mean, I hate my jiggly belly, but I like my boobs and my butt.

But this morning as I was trying to get dressed, nothing I tried on fit. :(

I'm really considering weight watchers.

Cram Sessions & Shopping Confessions

Last month, I decided to give up shopping for the month of April. I was super determined, but to be fair, I had bought a bunch of stuff on March 31st to tide me over. Not to mention that I had some items to exhange and some giftcards burning holes in my wallet. So. The concept was totally doable.

But this weekend, I caved (Sorry, FF! I would've come clean but the boys were around). And I cannot even show you the object of my destruction because it SOLD OUT.

I tried, cookies. I really did. But each day I checked the item, each day I saw sizes vanishing. Until the only size that was left was a size 8.

And I ordered it. I don't even know if it'll fit. I've gained a bunch of weight, and I'm no longer a size 6, but J.Crew sizing has always been a little off for me.

I would show you a picture, but it's not even up anymore.

I feel guilty, but I'm sure my guilt will abate when I get my beautiful dress at the end of the week.

New & Improved

There's long been the question of how something can be BOTH new and improved, so this title may be somewhat misleading. All I know is that I've been gone for a while, and now I am back.

So dig it. :)