You've Got Mail

The other day I was flipping through the channels when I heard this,


Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small
life -well, valuable, but small -and sometimes I wonder do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave. So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a
book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void.
So good night, dear void.

-Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail



And it really resonanted.

I wonder.

About my life.

Like, shouldn't I want to run a marathon? Or parachute out of a plane? Or travel to India? Or go on safari?

Because I don't.

And I'm not really sure if that's a reflection of me.

I want big things.

But I guess the term "big things" is relative.

Something to think about.

Deep Thoughts with Smart Cookie

Lately I've noticed a huge disparity between the way I see myself and the way others see me. And I have to be straight with y'all -it's a bit disconcerting. It almost makes me feel as if my perception of myself is distorted, and the person who I think I am is only an illusion. Deep, right?

But could that be right? Could that be possible? I spend time with myself 24/7. Who would know me better than me? And then I think, people only see pieces of me. For example, work people know work Smart Cookie, relatives know sister/daughter/cousin/niece Smart Cookie, and so on and so on. So therefore, they only know part of me, not all of me. They don't see the whole picture, my friends.

So, who am I really? I feel like I'm going in circles trying to figure it out. Because if I'm not who I think I am, then who am I? Deep sigh. I don't feel like I'm explaining myself well. Like all my thoughts are thick as molasses.

It's late. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more coherent.

Oh, except for J. J sees all of me, and it's more in line with my thoughts about moi-meme.